She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
