Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm both gender and math confused
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
