question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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