Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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