You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize