Its about making memories worth repressing
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
