I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
