Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
