i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
