whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
