I smell stomach acid.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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