i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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