I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I am one with the molecules
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
