You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
