What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
