im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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