shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It's just like the Real World with babies
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
