cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
only you would photoshop your dick
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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