he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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