The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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