i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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