Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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