Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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