I love black thongs
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
