mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
