Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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