thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
