Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He literally asked permission to hit on me
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
