So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
