I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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