Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
