you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
