So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
