what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i black out too much to be "responsible"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize