fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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