dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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