I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
