whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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