you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
