Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
