Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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