I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
soo... how was my night?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
