I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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