Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
