Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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