The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just want nice things and good sex
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
