maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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