i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
