the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
