If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
