and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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