they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
