I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
