Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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