You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
