i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize