Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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