I'm jealous of your bromance
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
