I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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