he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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