Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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