You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
